Through the Valley

“I don’t know how you do it.” 

When I share pieces of my story or even glimpses into my day-to-day life, it’s only a matter of time before this phrase emerges to commend or contravene.  You see, I’m a full-time single mamma with a full-time corporate career, with full-time hopes and dreams. That’s my story so far. But, it hasn’t always been my story and it won’t always be my story. 

There was a time when I wasn’t a mamma. There was a time when I wasn’t single (and I’m believing for that time again). There was a time when I didn’t have the full-time corporate career. There was a time when I was convinced my hopes and dreams would never come to pass. There was, and continues to be, times when I have to walk through the valley to get to the victory on the other side. 

I’ve walked through and wrestled with the sting of rejection, the anguish of heartbreak, the paralysis of anxiety, and the despondency of loneliness. The weight, depth, and immensity of these valleys so often brought me to the end of myself. They almost took me out…almost.

It might be easier to say that my faith got me through. But, to be honest, in those valleys, I didn’t have a lot of faith. In fact, I would question if God was really there. I wrestled with my faith because I could only see the circumstance surrounding me. I couldn’t see God. I couldn’t hear Him. I couldn’t feel Him. 

How does that song go? “Even when I can’t see it, you’re working. Even when I don’t feel it, you’re working” (Waymaker – Sinach). Our doubts do not inhibit the ability of God to show up. He’s just waiting for us to lean in His direction – doubts and all. 

And, that’s what I did. I leaned…time and time again. I leaned until I knew He was my rock at the bottom. I leaned until I knew He was my peace in the chaos. I leaned until I knew He was my comforter and light in the dark. I’m still in awe of how in the worst moments – the “I can’t do this” raw moments – God would meet me there, every single time. When I didn’t deserve it or even want it – He was there. He had me, no matter what.

If I can encourage you for a moment…whatever valley you’re walking through, remember you’re walking through it. You will see joy again. The heavy raw moments will try to take you out – Don’t let them. They are but moments – immense and overwhelming – but they will pass, as surely as the sun rises and sets each day. Scream, shout, bare your soul before God. Cast every care on Him. He can take it, so you don’t have to carry it. He’s not scared of your emotion. You are not alone in this valley. He is with you.

I grew up with Psalms 23. It was one of those passages that I memorized and quoted in conversation all the time. But, it wasn’t until I walked through the valleys that this passage truly came to life for me. Oh how I love that God’s word is living and active. It comes alive in fresh ways every season.

When I needed comfort, I would remember the words “You are close beside me” (Psalms 23:4 NLT). I was not alone. 

When I needed strength, I would remember “He renews my strength…Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me” (Psalms 23:3-4 NLT). I could persevere because He sustained me.

When I needed peace, I would remember “He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams” (Psalms 23:2 NLT). I could surrender my troubles to God. He wanted to carry the weight, so I could receive His perfect peace.

When I needed love, I would remember “Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life” (Psalms 23:6 NLT). I was loved.

So, “how do I do it?” 

I run to the Father, every day. I firmly fasten myself in the shadow of His wing, allowing Him to do his perfect work in me. I cast every overwhelming moment onto Him. I refuse to carry the weight that comes from trying to control the uncontrollable. 

I pray. 

I pause and breathe (a lot!). 

I take things one step at the time, faithfully stewarding each moment before me and leaving the future in God’s more-than-capable hands. I feel the feelings but don’t let them control me. I don’t make any life-changing decisions in the moment (learned that one the hard, hard way). 

I keep going. 

I let go of self-imposed expectation. I say ‘no’ to comparison. I stand firm on the truth that I’m loved, not alone, and have a hope and a future. I receive His grace, as I stumble imperfectly through. 

I remember that for every valley, a victory lies on the other side.